Jeffy’s In the Mews: Cats Lose to Farting Dogs in Human Sleep Study

IN THE MEWS: Flawed Sleep Study Says Women Prefer Sleeping with Dogs

By JeffyJeffyBadBoy, Feline Investigative Reporter

Feline journalist JeffyJeffy demands reevaluation of the recent sleep study.



Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy? Who is the best sleep partner for women? Spoiler alert: We kitties come in third.

A recent study, published in the Journal of the International Society of Anthrozoology, concluded kitties aren’t the best sleeping partners for women, but neither are human significant others. Who then? Fideaux. Can you believe it? Stinky, snoring, farting dogs. Humans come in second. I hear that noise and emissions come from them, too. There’s no accounting for taste. As an independent journalist, I am contesting the findings and demanding a fairer rating system.

The study, “An Examination of Adult Women’s Sleep Quality and Sleep Routines in Relation to Pet Ownership and Bedsharing”, surveys 962 adult American women about their relationships and their sleep, 57% shared their bed with a human partner, 55% sleep with at least one dog and 31% spend the night with at least one cat.

(And what’s that about? There are way more pet kitties than dogs in the U.S. Why don’t we get to hog the bed like dogs do? I think the results are skewed. Why did they interview so few cat owners compared to human owners and dog owners. As a side note, no animal knows more about sleep than cats. Sixteen hours a day, baby!)

The study evaluated the sleep quality of women sharing their bed with a cat, a dog and another human and asked, which species provides the best night’s sleep? (In the spirit of full disclosure, I sleep with my boss and she only complains a couple of times a night about me pouncing on her feet and biting her toes.)

The ladies told researchers dogs were less disruptive to sleep than human partners and they felt more protected by a dog. Cats were more disruptive than human partners they didn’t feel protected. (Weighing in at 10 pounds it’s not like we kitties can take down that cat burglar.)

According to the study, dog owners tended to go to bed earlier and get up earlier than those who only had cats. Duh. They had to get up early to take the dog for a pee. We kitties manage to take care of our “needs”. So who’s really disrupting sleep?

The study didn’t say anything about canine flatulence or cover-stealing. I think they need to look into that.

Wanna read the study?

“An Examination of Adult Women’s Sleep Quality and Sleep Routines in Relation to Pet Ownership and Bedsharing,” authored by Christy L. Hoffman, etal can be found at https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/08927936.2018.1529354

The Christmas Dragon: A new Christmas Classic

The Christmas Dragon: A Christmas Fantasy

Stupid Gravity Press is thrilled to announce the release of the next children’s Christmas classic, The Christmas Dragon by Richard Hazlewood.


Snow-Wing was an ordinary dragon, living in a cave above a clearing. Like all dragons, when people first encountered the massive creature, they feared him. One day, he was called upon to do something mighty, something that would change not only his life…but human history.

The Christmas Dragon is the perfect book for young readers, aged 9-12 or for parents to share with younger children. Buy the paperback for only $7.99 or Kindle  for $2.99 from Amazon.com.

What authors are saying about The Christmas Dragon

“Richard Hazlewood creates a sweet and simple fable for early readers in The Christmas Dragon. Anyone who thinks life lessons can’t be learned from a young dragon finding purpose from his encounter with an even younger Jesus will be converted by this gentle creature’s tale.” ~Carole Nelson Douglas, USA Today bestselling author of the Midnight Louie feline PI mysteries

“The Christmas Dragon blends Christianity and fantasy in a sweet retelling of the Baby Jesus and one of his most devoted followers.” ~Cat Rambo, author of The Tabat Quartet Series

About Richard Hazlewood

Richard Hazlewood has a Master’s Degree in Aerospace Engineering. He spent eight years in the US Navy operating nuclear reactors on submarines. Richard has written more than a dozen supplements for various RPGs including the award-winning The Space Patrol for Traveller. The Christmas Dragon is his first fiction book. He has two children and three grandchildren. He lives in Texas with his wife and three dogs. Visit him at www.xmasdragon.com